SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE: YEA OR NAY IN THIS GENERATION?



SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE:YEA OR NAY IN THIS GENERATION

Lately I have been seeing different posts on social media about this topic. Lots of young people are confused about this, especially those who are of the Christian faith as anything sex that's not within the confines of marriage is considered a sin. We have also heard different kinds of disturbing stories that also add to the confusion in the minds of this youths. The purpose of this article is not to state what's right or wrong, dos and donts but to also critically analyze this issue and how it affects this generation. To start with, we all probably have been taught by society and religion that sex should only be experienced in marriage. Many of us have kept this in our heart and consciously made efforts to stay celibate. And society frowns at people engaging in sexual intercourse when dey are not married. To some, virginity should be a gift to one's spouse on that wedding night. But the first question on my mind is: does virginity adds any kind of value to marriage? Does marrying a virgin or being married as a virgin make the marriage successful? Bear in mind that I have seen people who married as virgin got divorce within just a few years of the marriage, and of course we have seen people whom we know were far from being virgins got married and have blissful marriages. There are stories of marital issues that's as a result of inability of one spouse to satisfy the other. I even read one of those stories today and the man said he didn't know that his wife doesn't like sex because they never had sex while they were dating as their religion considers it a sin. Hmmmmm in this our society today? Now who's to blame for this? The church(religion) or the couple? I also read and heard stories from two different men who married "SheMales" here in Lagos. Maybe you have never heard the word "shemale" before, I will explain and later u can research on it cos I have too. A shemale is either a woman that is physically a woman but has a pennis instead of a vagina or a man that's physically a man but has a vagina instead of a penis. I can't attach a picture for some reasons but you can research this because it is very prevalent now in this our day. So these men met these beautiful women, ask them out started dating but because of their religious belief, they didn't sleep with these women until their wedding night they discovered these ladies have penis instead of vagina. One of these references actually called on a national radio asking for advice on how to solve this nightmare as he described it. Lol. Now the question again is who's to blame for this?. I once read that there are three elements that make marriage blissful and they are Sex, Communication and Money. And that both money and communication helps maintain a healthy sexual relationship in your marriage. Well I am not a marriage counselor but am thinking if sex is such an important factor in marriage then why gamble with it? Shouldn't it be wise to taste it first and be sure that the person you are marrying is on the same level of sexual understanding and performance with you? But then there's the question of "how many will you taste before you find the one you are sure of"? Lol I once read a post from a pastor's daughter who was to be married to a committed brother in her father's church. The girl said she was not a virgin and she actually has preference for big size penis and she wants to be sure if the brother is endowed with her preferred size. You can imagine the dilemma. She wasn't prepared to take the risk of getting married and not being sexually satisfied. Some people judged, criticized and called her names, but I loved her courage and sincerity. Truth is some people played religion and got married with uncertainty regarding important issues and they are in the marriage asking God why me? Now am wondering which is worse in the case of this girl(pastor's daughter), have sex with this brother to find out if she will be satisfied or get married blindly, discover that the man can't satisfy her sexully and begin to cheat on him? Hmmmm!!! I know that some of you may have read or heard one or two stories relating to sexual issues in marriage which was as a result of celibacy. Its important to also note that people who had sex before marriage too could have sexual issues in their marriage too. But with all the uncertainty in this generation/world today, is abstainance or celibacy a good choice? Should one still take such risk of not having sex with the woman or man you want to get married to? And if you discovered something wrong on your wedding night, who's to blame? Pls feel free to drop a comment. 
Amachree Ikijana

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